my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So vagazzling was a success
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
