there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize