I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
