too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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