Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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