Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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