hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
