dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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