You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
