Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
