so explain again why im purple
no
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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