Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
