i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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