So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
