I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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