Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize