hotel room ftw
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
