my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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