tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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