Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
