Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
that is very illegal...i love you.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
