So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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