is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
