Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
