kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
