It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
