no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I can't put those talents on a resume
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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