She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
