That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
