I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
