Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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