the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
