you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
