i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
