:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
