I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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