Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
