At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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