he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
and you fell through a lawn chair
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
