Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
