I think scott just propositioned me for sex
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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