But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
So much Jack, so little girl.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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