I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize