Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I think my moral compass just broke
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
