She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
