Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's blow job season.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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