Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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