So drunk its hurt
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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