I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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