You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
