Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
