Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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