dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
