and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize