Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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