someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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