what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
