I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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