I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Everyone says I win the strip club
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
