dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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