new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
