i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
