So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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