wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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